To boob, or not to boob...

So as I said, I had lots of Dr. appointments last week.  THe MRI went well, and for the first time, I actually dozed off and on! ( For a breast MRI, you don't lay on your back, and slide into the machine like most Mri's...I'll spare you the details, but I'll just say that it is very uncomfortable, and since my Mri's were for a study, they took more images and the process lasted much longer than normal).

Next I met with the plastic surgeon, and he went over the different surgery options.  Because my tumor has shrunk lots (yay!) I am a candidate for a (option 1) lumpectomy followed by radiation. This is then followed by mammograms every 6 months, and MRI's yearly, for 5 years.  A lumpectomy, I am told, is equal in 5 year survival rate to (option 2) a mastectomy. However, we are only talking about that one breast. My Grandmother had cancer in both breasts 5 years apart, and because I am NOT going to do this again, I have decided to have a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction.  I kept going back to the thought that my oncologist posed to me...If my cancer came back, or I got it in the other breast, would I regret it if I hadn't done everything that I could at the time.  My answer was most definitely yes.  And that is how I made my decision. 

In the surgery, they will insert expanders under the muscle, in which small amounts of liquid will be added over the next few months.  This will allow the expanders to be swapped out at a later date with implants.

So, I am scared about how I will look. I am scared about how much I might hurt. I am scared about the other procedures in the next few months, and the other surgery that I still will need to have.  But, I won't be scared about having breast cancer again, because I will have lowered the possiblity to about 1%.

Tomorrow I go (again) to UCSF...for hospital registration, and for a pre-op appointment.  Surgery is Monday at Noon.

Comments

[lonnie jenck]

Oh Girlie...

Toughest decision you'll probably ever of had to make! I'm super proud of you!!! You've done this with such grace and dignity :) I'm a text, a call or an email away if you need anything! I'm sending prayers and happy thoughts your way, my sweet friend! xoxo

[Rebecca G.]

Oh, my friend. I would have made the exact same decision! My thoughts and prayers are with you through this most difficult time. You are a beautiful and incredibly genuine woman. Boobs do not make you that way... you beautiful soul makes you that way! Lots of hugs...

[kl]

i'll be thinking of you and sending lots and lots of healing prayers.
you are so brave
and so strong!!
xoxo